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Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother" Forehead John is at home watching wajts football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?

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It"s been flickering for weeks now". He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead?

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I don"t think so". Fine, then the wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won"t close right " To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Kenmore written on my forehead? They are about to break " "I"m not a carpenter and I don"t want to fix steps". He says, Hoot it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don"t think so I"ve had enough of you. I"m gug to the bar! As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.

As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge tihs is fixed. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either give him a titty fuck or bake a cake".

He said, "So what kind of cake did you bake? Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?

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I don"t think so! Twin Peaks is just one giant boob joke. Boobs are like women. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake. But we'd touch em' all.

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My boobs are having a hard time deciding what they want to be when they grow up Fake tan. Fake boobs. Fake nails. Fake hair. Tell us again how you want a real man.

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My breast intentions keep making a mess of things If it weren't for nipples, boobs would be pointless. Booby trap backwards equals party boob. My wife was so happy to hear how much I donate to charity Having to watch what you eat because you don't want your tummy to compete with your boobs Boobs: Proving that guys can focus on two things at once. Your boobs are so fake they make Kim Kardashian's ass look real. I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra.

It was a booby trap. Why the fuck are bra's so expensive, all they do is hold boobs, I can do it for free I think it's only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs. Why is it called a training bra what are you training for the m breaststroke Boobs are like the sun. Ok to look, but dangerous to stare.

But that's what sunglasses are for.

36 Funny Relatable Memes for Anyone with Big Boobs

You're a boob. Just tittin' You're my breast friend. Wanna know what slut stands for sexy, large, unforgetable, tits. My girlfriend wanted a boob job for her birthday. So I bought her a bottle of baby lotion and whipped my cock out.

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I personally like taking photos of myself, but propping up your camera and setting an automatic timer works great, too. However, I have big boobs, and I find that holding up the camera myself also lifts my boobs up. See, it's all trial and error. Find your best angles and work with them!

To filter or not to filter? However, remember that the person you're sending nudes to is also a person who will most likely be seeing you, or has already seen you, naked in person. Photoshopping too much could end ssee getting you into an awkward situation if you pretend to be something you're not. Body positivity is where it's at.

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I love a selfie that flaunts authenticity — stretch marks, cellulite, one boob bigger than the other, or a love handle. Nudes are a celebration of what you look like, not a false portrayal of whom you'd wanrs to look like for someone else. Proud of your boobs? Then tk them off in the picture. If you've got a butt like wanfs Kardashian, then arch your back and push it out. Most likely, whatever you like most about your own body, your guy will be into also. Flash will turn your body into a ghost, and your guy will wonder why Casper is trying to sext him at 3 a.

Turn on a lamp instead, or keep the lighting dim. Stay away from anything fluorescent because I'm sure you know that isn't flattering on anyone.

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Have you been in a bathroom with fluorescent lighting before? It's scary. Once you've taken a photo, there are settings on your camera or phone that should allow you to adjust the lighting from there. Additionally, make sure the brightness on your phone is up all the way, because that will make the picture warmer without having to use flash. Remember, when it comes to nudes, make sure you're ready, you feel comfortable doing it, and you're sending your unidentifiable pictures to someone who's worth it.

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